Card - Once Upon A Time Guy

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Once upon a time....

A guy was thinking about asking a girl to marry him and then he had a much better idea...

He decided not to!

And the man left the toilet seat up, watched sport and porn 24/7 with complete control of the remote, never asked for directions, wore the same underpants for 3 days, drank milk straight out of the bottle, went to the pub whenever he wanted for as long as he liked, never suffered nagging or D&Ms after sex, PMT meant 'permanent mate time', he drove his car really fast with the windows down, never visited another shopping mall, drank beer, belched and let rip whenever he felt like it, and lived happily ever after...

(Blank inside.)

{"id":3942771359767,"title":"Bush Kiwi Cushion Cover","handle":"bushkiwicushioncover","description":"\u003cp\u003eA funky NZ bush Kiwi designed cushion cover. Great to bring a slice of NZ to any bedroom or living room.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrinted on one side - back cover is black.\u003cbr\u003eSize approx: 40cm x 40cm\u003cbr\u003e3 button closure.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis listing is for the cover only. (Easy shipping!)\u003cbr\u003eNeed an inner? Buy \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.thereddog.co.nz\/products\/cushion-inner-45x45cm\"\u003ehere.\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","published_at":"2019-08-02T10:50:26+12:00","created_at":"2019-08-02T10:50:28+12:00","vendor":"DQ","type":"Homeware","tags":["Cushions","Kiwiana"],"price":2499,"price_min":2499,"price_max":2499,"available":true,"price_varies":false,"compare_at_price":null,"compare_at_price_min":0,"compare_at_price_max":0,"compare_at_price_varies":false,"variants":[{"id":29435465367575,"title":"Default Title","option1":"Default Title","option2":null,"option3":null,"sku":"9420014774772","requires_shipping":true,"taxable":true,"featured_image":null,"available":true,"name":"Bush Kiwi Cushion Cover","public_title":null,"options":["Default Title"],"price":2499,"weight":0,"compare_at_price":null,"inventory_quantity":3,"inventory_management":"shopify","inventory_policy":"deny","barcode":null}],"images":["\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0250\/1316\/products\/cushion-cover-bush-kiwi.jpg?v=1565173266"],"featured_image":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0250\/1316\/products\/cushion-cover-bush-kiwi.jpg?v=1565173266","options":["Title"],"content":"\u003cp\u003eA funky NZ bush Kiwi designed cushion cover. Great to bring a slice of NZ to any bedroom or living room.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrinted on one side - back cover is black.\u003cbr\u003eSize approx: 40cm x 40cm\u003cbr\u003e3 button closure.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis listing is for the cover only. (Easy shipping!)\u003cbr\u003eNeed an inner? Buy \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.thereddog.co.nz\/products\/cushion-inner-45x45cm\"\u003ehere.\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e"}

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{"id":3937986052119,"title":"PD - Peachy Black Circles","handle":"pd-peachyblackcircles","description":"\u003cp\u003eOne off polymer clay \/ resin statement earrings.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHandmade in New Zealand.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e5.5 cm drop.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e---------------------------------------------------------------------------\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePollydangles earrings are made of non-toxic polymer clay and \/or resin. \u003cbr\u003e They are durable but need to be cared for carefully, especially if the design is delicate.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePollydangles uses only hypoallergenic stainless steel earring posts, hooks and hoops unless otherwise stated.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eCaring for your PollyDangles\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Store in a cool dry spot, preferably on an earring holder to avoid damage. \u003cbr\u003e Do not wear with dark unwashed clothing as polymer clay is porous and will absorb the colours.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo not drop onto hard surfaces.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvoid getting your jewellery wet or sleeping with it on as body weight against these may cause damage.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTo clean use a soft damp cloth.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eSafety Warning\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Contains small parts, keep away from children due to choking hazard.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIn the unfortunate event of breakage please contact us ASAP.\u003cbr\u003e Pollydangles products are guaranteed for 6 months after purchase, however manufacturer and\/or retailer cannot be responsible for items damaged due to ill-treatment. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","published_at":"2019-07-25T23:10:46+12:00","created_at":"2019-07-25T23:10:48+12:00","vendor":"Pollydangles","type":"Jewellery","tags":["Drops","NZ Made"],"price":2299,"price_min":2299,"price_max":2299,"available":true,"price_varies":false,"compare_at_price":null,"compare_at_price_min":0,"compare_at_price_max":0,"compare_at_price_varies":false,"variants":[{"id":29419493261335,"title":"Default Title","option1":"Default Title","option2":null,"option3":null,"sku":"10127","requires_shipping":true,"taxable":true,"featured_image":null,"available":true,"name":"PD - Peachy Black Circles","public_title":null,"options":["Default Title"],"price":2299,"weight":0,"compare_at_price":null,"inventory_quantity":1,"inventory_management":"shopify","inventory_policy":"deny","barcode":null}],"images":["\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0250\/1316\/products\/8.jpg?v=1564213749"],"featured_image":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0250\/1316\/products\/8.jpg?v=1564213749","options":["Title"],"content":"\u003cp\u003eOne off polymer clay \/ resin statement earrings.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHandmade in New Zealand.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e5.5 cm drop.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e---------------------------------------------------------------------------\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePollydangles earrings are made of non-toxic polymer clay and \/or resin. \u003cbr\u003e They are durable but need to be cared for carefully, especially if the design is delicate.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePollydangles uses only hypoallergenic stainless steel earring posts, hooks and hoops unless otherwise stated.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eCaring for your PollyDangles\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Store in a cool dry spot, preferably on an earring holder to avoid damage. \u003cbr\u003e Do not wear with dark unwashed clothing as polymer clay is porous and will absorb the colours.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo not drop onto hard surfaces.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvoid getting your jewellery wet or sleeping with it on as body weight against these may cause damage.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTo clean use a soft damp cloth.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eSafety Warning\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Contains small parts, keep away from children due to choking hazard.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIn the unfortunate event of breakage please contact us ASAP.\u003cbr\u003e Pollydangles products are guaranteed for 6 months after purchase, however manufacturer and\/or retailer cannot be responsible for items damaged due to ill-treatment. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e"}

PD - Peachy Black Circles

One off polymer clay / resin statement earrings. Handmade in New Zealand. 5.5 cm drop. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------...

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PD - Purple Peach Marble 3 Circle Drop

One off polymer clay / resin statement earrings. 6 cm drop. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Pollydangles earrings are...

$25.99

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